Peanut Butter Addiction

One thing that has amazed me is how my tastes and preferences in foods have changed over the last 14 months. Overall, these changes have been a good thing. There is only one dark, sticky exception.

Peanut Butter.

It became pretty clear early on in this lifestyle overhaul that I had suddenly become obsessed with it; this was at first amusing to me because prior to changing my habits I very rarely ever touched the stuff. Never had the desire to. I wish I could say the same now. I can, and have several times, ploughed through an entire 28 oz jar in a mere 3 days. It has become my one and only “trigger” food. I can’t stop myself once I start eating it, and I don’t trust myself when it’s in the house. Honey has also become a bit of a weak spot and discovering they made Peanut Butter mixed with Honey flatlined my weight loss chart for a month. Every binge, every slip up, every stall can be attributed to me opening a jar of that evil concoction in the middle of the night. For reals. I wish it were as easy as not buying the stuff, but I live with another nut butter addict who doesn’t have to worry about their weight (the bitch) and I struggle almost nightly to keep myself from grabbing a spoon and popping the lid off.

So there it is. Hi, I’m Blue and I’m a Peanut Butteraholic. My spoon has been clean for 2 days.

Anyone else have a particular food obsession/addiction? Any new ones sprout up after you started eating healthier?

Go ahead. Say it.

AWWWW!

I know. Aren’t they so stinkin cute? I’ve been fostering these 3 mini dachshund pups for 2 weeks now. They were removed from an abusive home (seriously, people suck. Is it any wonder I‘m a hermit?) They’re the sweetest little things in the world, but they’re a handful. If I’m not feeding them or cleaning up their poop, they’re begging at my feet to be held or played with. They’ll stay with me for another 2 weeks until they’re strong enough to get their first shots and then they’ll move to their forever homes. I’m so glad my sister wants to adopt the special needs pup (the tiny one in the last pic who was severely malnourished) because I’ve gotten so attached to her and I just can’t adopt any more pets - we have 6 already! That’s the hard part of fostering. You want to keep them all but you just can’t.

Weight-wise I’ve been maintaining around 310 for almost a month. Kind of frustrating, but it’s my own doing. I breeze along just fine for a few days and then my nephews stay over and it’s a grazeapalooza. They make popcorn, I have a handful. They roast s‘mores, I partake in a few. They get iced capps, I get a small with 2%. Nothing horrible, but my body has this amazing ability to turn 1,000 extra calories into a 5 lb gain. Such fun, that. It vanishes within a few days - just in time for another graze-a-thon with the boys. Bad cycle.

I told them to bring their bikes next time and we’ll head over to the local trail, hopefully a couple hours of exercise will negate the grazing I know full well I’ll be doing. We’ll see if that approach works. Can't hurt.

A year ago today I stepped on the scale and saw 399 lbs for the first time in a very long time. I was THRILLED! I whooped and danced because I was finally out of the 400’s and knew I would never again return. That was an awesome day for me. In my journal I wrote, “I don’t think anyone has ever been so happy to see that their weight starts with a 3” Happy was an understatement, I was over the moon; I danced every time I got off the scale for weeks after that.

And here I am just a few weeks away from 299. I know its a completely arbitrary number, but it means something to me. Having my weight start with a 2, I don’t know, makes me feel more normal. It’ll also mean I’m only 99 lbs from my final goal of 200. For so long the weight I needed to lose was measured in the hundreds of pounds and soon it’ll be a double digit. Amazing. I’m really going to try to hit 299 by the end of the month, but regardless of when it happens - and it will! - pics will follow!