Little by little

So today is the fifth day of Operation Die, Plateau, Die!

It was a simple enough plan:

• Reduce caloric intake to 1500 (was 1800)
  
• Exercise at least 30 minutes a day
• No eating after dinner
  

I've stuck to my daily goals so far and I'm feeling really good.

Food. I've made very little change to what I normally eat, but like they say, it all adds up. 1 slice of cheese instead of 2 on my pita, .5oz mayo instead of 1oz. That alone is a difference of 150 calories, and taste-wise I wouldn't know one pita from the other, honestly.

Exercise. I'm liking the Shred DVD so far. I whine through the first half of it, but I stick with it and it's over before I know it. I'm really looking forward to being able to mix it up with the Wii Fit as soon as I'm under 330.

No food after 6pm. Night time, and the cravings it brings, is always the hardest for me. That used to be when I would get the majority of my calories. It's not wonder I was so obese; starving during the day and gorging at night is exactly what Sumo wrestlers do to maintain their weights. And if I follow only one piece of dieting advice, it would be: Don't eat like a Sumo.

Too Fat for Wii Fit

The farther north you are of 250 lbs the more you have to deal with weight capacity limitations, so I did my research before buying the Wii Fit last October and knew that with a weight limit of 330 lbs, I wouldn't be able to use it right off. It's disappointing, but a reality you get used to when you're Just Too Fat. I thought it'd be a great motivation. After all, I was so close - just 10 lbs over the limit. Yet here I am, almost 5 months later, and I’m STILL in the 330’s, still unable to use the damn thing.

But not for much longer. Oh no. Soon, so very soon, I will step on it and no longer see the message below. I’m getting kind of excited. Scales can differ 2 or 3 lbs, so I’ve gotten it out every morning this week, hoping against hope it’d finally let me on. I hold my breath, step on, and anxiously watch the screen, listening as it beeps and analyzes me much like the overly dramatic weigh-ins on the Biggest Loser, just dying to see what it'll say. Beep. Beep. Beep. Come on already!


Argh. Story of my life.


You can bet when I see the glorious 329 I’ll be sharing my joy here. After I hula-hoop. And ski.

Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred

Ouch.

I was promised an ass kicking and was delivered one, as my ass can now attest after 3 grueling attempts at this DVD.

I had to make some modifications, though.

Jumping Jacks, Butt Kicks, and Jump Rope: She says she has 400lb people doing them, but either they have no pannus or mine is gigantic, because the pain I get from my belly flopping up and down (not to mention the sound...) just makes it intolerable. So for the jumping jacks and jump rope I do the full arm movement while bouncing on my tiptoes and for the butt kicks, I do them properly, just at half the pace she does it.

I get very dizzy having to get up off the floor and back down so often (blood rush?) so I have to spend a few seconds waiting for it to pass while I sip some water.

Overall, I spend 22 minutes panting, grunting and wishing it would end. I yell at Jillian. I whimper "I can't do it", But then I do. By the end of it my heart is pounding, my face is red, and I feel DAMN GOOD! I have no doubt it'll pay off even with my modifications. In fact, it already has according to my daily weigh-in. But I'll wait til the 1rst to go public with it!

First post

Let's get the awkward introduction over with!

I'm Blue. I'm 24. I live in Ohio and make my living as an artist. I'm a bibliophile, DIY queen, and pet lover. I'm terrified of spiders, crowds, and semicolons. I'm also morbidly (ugh) obese, hypothyroid, and have severe anxiety.

I read many weight loss blogs and thought I'd join in, too. I can certainly use all the support I can get, and if ever I could inspire another as others have inspired me, even better.

I discovered 3 years ago that I was hypothyroid (Probably always have been, but thanks to anxiety I had avoided seeing a doctor since a very young age) I dropped a CRAPTON of weight after beginning treatment that year. Then my anxiety flared, along with mild agoraphobia and depression, and I quit going. My prescription ran out. I gained weight. I gave up.

I finally got my head in the right place and just over a year ago I returned to the doctor and my meds and taking care of myself. Thank God. I'm feeling so much better physically and mentally.

As of today I weigh 335.6 lbs.

It mortifies me to admit it, but this is not my highest weight.

Someday I'll reveal my before picture and the weight that went along with it, but for now, while being proud of what I've accomplished, I remain deeply embarrassed of my heaviest. Shame is a cruel bitch with a tight grip.

I've been on the most frustrating plateau for several months now. Up 2 lbs, down 2 lbs. Rinse, repeat. I know I'll have to kick my own ass to get to where I want and that's what I'll do. I'll never, ever, let my health fall by the wayside again. I deserve more, and I know that now. I get it. I'm in this forever.

So, that's me. Hi blog world! I'll do my best to update regularly.